Welcome, explorers! Here is today’s mission:

Port: Amchitka
Destination: Saint Louis Symphony Orchestra

We jump towards the page about the fabulous Saint Louis Symphony Orchestra from…Amchitka. “What is Amchitka?” you may be asking yourself. Well, I asked myself the same question before perusing the page and learning that it is “a volcanic, tectonically unstable island in the Rat Islands group of the Aleutian Islands in southwest Alaska.”

Hmm. Rat Islands, eh? I decided before I ventured out onto our journey that I’d learn a little more about these islands. I was curious why our beloved dock is a part of such a crappily named sequence. A click on Rat Islands gave me the answer: “The name Rat Islands is the English translation of the name given to the islands by Captain Fyodor Petrovich Litke in 1827 when he visited the Aleutian Islands on a voyage around the world. The islands are named so because of the rats that have ruled Rat Island since about 1780. As of 2009, the island is believed to be rat free.”

So, apparently Amchitka is ruled by rats.

And, if you were curious as to how the rats got removed, this article explains it: “After dropping poison onto the island from helicopter-hoisted buckets for a week and a half last autumn, there are no signs of living rats.”

So, they dropped poison on the island. Interesting. I wonder if this is a part of some government conspiracy to make super-intelligent ninja rats for the purpose of training anthropomorphic teenage turtles.

Nah. I mean, it’s not like the island is radioactive. OH WAIT

The island was used to test the effects of underground nuclear detonations.

We better get out of here before a whole bunch of ninja rats start kicking our asses. Or, teaching us karate. The latter of which wouldn’t be so bad I suppose…unless they started charging outrageous fees just for self defense courses, and pocketing the extra money for their own greedy selves. And I’m just not ready to test the moral fiber of radioactive sensei rats.

So we must move ONWARD.

1^st click: Alaska Purchase.
I wanted something wholesome after that whole nuclear-testing/giant-radioactive-rat situation, so I figured this was the best place on the page to turn. There’s a whole lot of wholesome, and therefore BORING, words on this page, so I’m looking for a quick exit.

AHA! The “See also” section of the page has a link to the Louisiana Purchase. My mind is racing to the beat of my bayou heart: the Louisiana Purchase should discuss Missouri, right? And Missouri is only a stone’s throw away from our destination: The Saint Louis Symphony Orchestra.

2^nd click: Louisiana Purchase.
YES. My quick thinking has paid off: “France turned New Orleans over on December 20, 1803 at The Cabildo. On March 10, 1804, a formal ceremony was conducted in St. Louis to transfer ownership of the territory from France to the United States.”

Thanks to those party animals known as the french, we’re only one click away from Louie.

3^rd click: St. Louis
Oh my GOD this page is long. Luckily, there’s a section in the contents for “Entertainment and performing arts.” Clicking that brings us smack-dab into our home stretch via this glorious sentence: “St. Louis is home to the world-renowned Saint Louis Symphony Orchestra which was founded in 1880 and is the second oldest orchestra in the nation.”

4^th click: Saint Louis Symphony Orchestra
And here we are, team. We’ve arrived at the page for the SLSO, thus ending our latest journey in only 4 clicks. Record time!

It’s been a pleasure traveling with you. Remember to keep your explorer hats on, kids.

Oh, and someone drop off 4 turtles in bandanas and 1 wise-looking rat on Amchitka. Let’s take the leap from fantasy to reality.

Happy Trails,

-          Mike